A U R I G A

21.08pm

I've just wrote this blog. after long I didnt post anything :)
today, I just want to tell you my story *curhat* hhe.
I felt so bad today. I bandied words with my twin sister.
guess what? I've talked about my extention study, my father went to our room
*since I moved to new home, I've got the same room from 1 year ago*
maybe because of this kind of situation our relation getting close rather than junior high school or senior high school, but often we have a different way of thinking.

OKAY, Its all began from my father asked about our plan for our future.
my father offered she *my twin sis* to work in his place after she finish her studies.
and she said she want to get her master degree while she work. and she told that she really want to get a scholarship to japan for continuing her study *i really shockingly glad and proud of her plan, since its our dream to go there*
after she said that and i told that i also want to get my bachelor degree *S1=sarjana*
because the next year i plan to finish my studies *amiinn*

my father said 'yes of course you can continue your study, but before that you must thinking about where you want to continuing your study?
and i said 'im in research dad, i've been thinking about how much the year and the cost if i follow in my steps, and then as soon as i get a detail information, ill tell you.'

i thought it just a small talk. after a while my dad go out from our room,
rahmi said ' you must be jealous of me !', i replied as fast as i can, NO ! OF COURSE i dont, what the f*ck are you thinking about my mind and my feeling?
*for a few thing , yes i jealous of her, but i didnt want to show her*
maybe its because i really didnt want to lose. and i thought we have this kind of feeling.

and i get in words fight. after half hour i decided to fell on my dream.
hufhh. its a heavy night.

its not the first time I feel so insecure about my future :( maybe God have a bigger plan than i had for my self :D *amiinn*

* sorry for didnt write a quotations on this post :(